For You in Your Loss - Information for Bereaved Relatives and Friends (Community Services)

"Memories are the loveliest thing,
They last from day to day,
They can't get lost,
They don't wear out,
and can't be given away."

(Anonymous)

You are not alone.  We are here to support you

The Trust staff who have cared for your loved one, wish to express their deepest sympathy and condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.

This information aims to provide some useful help and advice during the early days of your bereavement.

Inevitably, there are certain practical issues that need to be organised when someone dies.  This booklet advises you on what needs to be done.

Grief is a normal reaction to loss bereavement.  This information outlines some of the emotions or feelings that you may encounter.

If you feel that you need further support, advice or help, a number of organisations are listed in this information.

Supporting your loved ones wishes

It is important to us that we help you ensure that your loved ones wishes are fulfilled.

If you have discussed this with the Healthcare Team, they will advise, however please do not hesitate to contact them with any further questions, or you can discuss with the Bereavement Team when you call.

Tick Box Reminder

When Death Occurs

  • Contact your GP (out Out of Hours GP) as soon as possible.
  • Start to make the Funeral arrangements.
  • Collect the Medical Certificate Cause of Death (MCCD) - Register the Death.
  • Collect the White Form for Social Security Office (BD8) or a Tell Us Once (TUO) Reference number.

Organ Donation

Many people are aware that many times are saved each year through organ donation.  This only occurs when people have died in Accident and Emergency or Intensive Care.

Tissue Donation

Unlike organ donation, almost all patients that die in hospital can be considered for tissue donation.

If your loved one has expressed a wish, or you feel able to consider tissue donation, it maybe helpful to know that heart valves, eyes (corneas), and other tissues can be donated up to 24 hours after a person has died.  A family member can consent on behalf of the patient and it is not necessary to have a Donor Card.  Donation will not delay funeral plans or alter the appearance of the deceased.

The decision to donate is of course very personal, so if you wish to discuss this further, or if you require more information, please call the Tissue Services on 0800 432 0559 (24 hour Freephone).

Keepsakes

It may be possible for the Funeral Director to arrange for keepsakes such as handprints, hair locks or lip kisses.  You may also wish to take photographs of your loved ones hands.  Please speak to the Swan Bereavement Nurses or your chosen Funeral Director if this is something you would like to arrange.

Swan Bereavement Support Team

Our Swan Bereavement Support Nurses will help provide you with what matters most to you in the immediacy of your loss.  The team are available to all who may need support following bereavement.  The team is based at Blackpool Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, however they do offer the service for all families in the care of the hospital and community.

Our aim is to provide practice and emotional support to families and carers after the loss of a loved one.  The team are not trained counsellors, but can advise on accessing these services if you wish.

The Healthcare Team and Bereavement Office staff may have discussed and referred you to the service, however you and / or any loved one can contact our team directly for support.

Swan Bereavement Support Team contact:  01253 952456

Office Hours:  Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm

Please note we may be unable to take your call immediately if we are on another call, or on a Ward.  We do have an answerphone that is monitored regularly throughout the day.  We always aim to call back on the day you have left a message, however, if this is after working hours, it will be the next working day.

If you feel you need to speak with someone for support at a weekend, or in the evenings, please contact:

National Bereavement Helpline:  0800 448 0800 (Freephone)

Office Hours:  7am to 10pm, 7 days a week

Text Helpline:  07860 022 814 (texts are charged at your standard rate)

If you are in distress, please call Samaritans on 116 123 at not cost, any time of the day or night.  Whatever you are going through, a Samaritan will support you.

The Good Grief Trust offers a range of comprehensive information and support groups - "Help and Hope" in one place - both local and national information you may find useful.  Visit the website and / or discuss with the Swan Team for any further information

Home – The Good Grief Trust

When Death has Occurred

What to do First

When death occurs, telephone your GP or Healthcare Professional as soon as possible.  If the death occurred outside of normal working hours, please contact the Out-of-Hours GP, who will arrange for a Community Nurse or Doctor to verify the death.

By law a Medical Doctor is required to provide a Medical Certificate when a person has died, to confirm the death and state the cause of death.  The Doctor will complete this as soon as possible and arrange for the paperwork to be scanned to the Registrar's Office.

They will:

  • Provide the Registrar's Office with the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD).
  • Explain the procedures to you for Registration of Death.
  • Inform you about and refer you to our Swan Bereavement Support Nurses, who can provide ongoing support to you and your family.

In some cases where the Doctor is uncertain about the reason or the circumstances of death, it may not be possible to issue the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD).  If the death was sudden or unexpected, the Doctor is legally obligated to inform the Coroner.

Contact a Funeral Director

You do not have to wait until a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) has been issued to contact a Funeral Director and make arrangements to transfer your loved one to the Chapel of Rest.  Details of local Funeral Directors can be found at the end of this information.  Alternatively, the internet is a good source of information to compare costs and services provided.

Register the Death

Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) has been issued, the Surgery will arrange for this to be sent to the Registrar's Office.

An informant has a legal responsibility to register a death within 5 days of the date of death.  This time limit can be extended where there has been Coroner involvement.

Where to Register

A death should be registered in the local authority district where is occurred.

For Blackpool Deaths:

  • Where Council Tax is payable to Blackpool, deaths should be registered with the Blackpool Registration Service.
  • Families should contact the Registrar's Office to make an appointment to register the death, preferably online Register a death (blackpool.gov.uk)
  • If you do not cannot use this service, or do not have access to a computer, please ring 01253 477177.

For Wyre and Fylde Deaths:

  • Deaths that occur within the local authority boroughs of Wyre and Fylde should be registered with Lancashire Registration Service.  There are two Registrars Offices on the Fylde Coast, one in Fleetwood and one in Lytham.
  • You can make an appointment online at Register a death - Lancashire County Council
  • To make an appointment at any Registrars Office within Lancashire Registration District, please telephone: 0300 1236 705.

Who can Register the Death

You can register the death if you are:

  • A relative.
  • Someone who was present at the death.
  • The authorised occupier of the Nursing / Care Home where death has occurred.
  • The person making the decision on the funeral arrangements.

What you will need to know

When you register the death, you will need to make an appointment and, if possible, take with you the NHS Medical Card of the deceased and Birth Certificate to the appointment.

You will also need identification for yourself and for the deceased.  Preferable forms of identification would be a Passport, Driving Licence or a Birth, Death or Marriage Certificate.  If you are unable to provide any of these, registration will still go ahead.

The Registrar will ask you for the following information:

  • The date and place of death.
  • Full name and surname / family name.
  • Date of place of birth of the deceased.
  • Address, including postcode of the deceased.
  • The last full time occupation of the deceased and whether retired.
  • Date and place of birth of surviving spouse / civil partner.
  • If the deceased was a married woman, widow or a civil partner, maiden name / family name (if applicable).
  • The husband's / wife's / civil partner's name even if deceased.
  • The husband's / wife's / civil partner's occupation and whether retired.

This information will form an entry in the Death Register.

You may also be asked for a reference number of any occupational pension paid out of public funds (apart from the state retirement pension).

After registering the death the Registrar will give you:

  • A green form to hand to the Funeral Director.
  • A white form to send to the Social Security Office (BD8) or a Tell Us Once (TUO) reference number.
  • The Registrar will issue copies of the Death Certificate for £11 each.  Please ensure all spellings and identification details are accurate on the certificate at the time of registration as any amendments can incur a correction fee of up to £90.

Location of Blackpool Registrar's Office

Blackpool Town Hall - Google Maps

Location of Fleetwood Registrar's Office

Fleetwood Registration Office - Lancashire County Council

Location of Lytham Registrar's Office

St Anne's Registration Office - Lancashire County Council

Tell Us Once Service

Tell Us Once brings together several organisations (see the list below) so that people do not need to notify them individually of the death.

To use the Tell Us Once service, the death must have been registered.  The Registrar will give you information about the service when you go to register the death.

You can also find further information at:  What to do after someone dies: Tell Us Once - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Tell Us Once links information between:

  • The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP).
  • HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC).
  • Local Authorities.
  • Driving and Vehicle Licencing Agency (DVLA).
  • Identity and Passport Service (IPS).

They do not inform the following organsiation:

  • Royal Mail.
  • Utilities.
  • TV Licencing.
  • Bank / Building Society.
  • Library Cards / Season Tickets.
  • Insurance Companies.
  • Rental Companies, etc.

A Coroner's Authorisation

If a death is referred to the Coroner, a representative working for the Coroner will need to contact you to prepare a report relating to the person's medical history.  This is standard procedure and should not cause you any alarm.

In certain circumstances, the Coroner may authorise the Doctor to issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) without the need for a post mortem.  This will be explained to you by a Coroner's Representative.  A death cannot be registered until the Registrar has received written clearance from the Coroner.

Please do not hesitate to ask about anything that is unclear.

A Coroner's Post Mortem

The Coroner may decide that a post mortem is required.  You cannot object to a post mortem, however the reasons why a post mortem is required will be fully explained to you and support will be provided.

Once the post mortem has been completed, you will receive advice from the Coroner's Office of when and how to register the death.  This process usually takes a few days.

Contact numbers:

  • For Fylde and Blackpool Residents, Blackpool Coroners Office:  01253 477128.
  • For Wyre Residents, Coroner's Office:  01772 536536.

A Hospital Post Mortem

The Doctor who has issued the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) may ask your permission for a post mortem examination to assist in medical knowledge and teaching.

Ensure that you understand why the post mortem is taking place, and when.  The decision to grant permission for a hospital post mortem is yours (you may wish to discuss this with other family members prior to giving consent).  If you do decide to permit this, you will be asked to sign a consent form.

Visiting a Loved One after they have Died

When the person has been taken to a Funeral Home, please contact your Funeral Director to arrange to visit them if you wish.

If your loved one died in the Community and has been transferred to Blackpool Teaching Hospital's Mortuary, please contact your appointed Coroner's Officer if you would like to arrange to visit your loved one.

Funeral Arrangements

The Funeral Director of your choice will advise you of the options and discuss with you the arrangements you wish to make.  The funeral is your opportunity to say your goodbyes in a way that is appropriate both for you and the person who has died.  You may wish to choose who might lead the service (not necessarily a Minister of Religion), certain music or readings, and you or other relatives or friends may wish to take part in the service.  Take time to consider the possibilities.

Financial Assistance

Benefit advice about Funeral Grants (payable to the responsible person if in receipt of a qualifying benefit) may be obtained from The Social Fund by contacting telephone:  0800 169 0140 during office hours or visit the website:  Get help with funeral costs (Funeral Expenses Payment): How it works - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) for more information.

Pension / Allowance Arrangements

Any queries regarding pensions and allowances can be directed to the Pension Service. 

If the deceased was in receipt of a War Pension, any queries can be directed to:

You will need the pension information and National Insurance number of the deceased and Next of Kin.

Funeral Payment Department

You will need to complete form SF200 available from your local Job Centre Plus Office or it can be downloaded at Funeral Expenses Payment claim form - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

You can telephone for advice and qualification requirements of a benefit:

  • Telephone:  0800 731 0469, Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm.

NHS Equipment

Please return any NHS equipment to the Loan Store it was issued from or telephone 01253 476646 or 01772 286573 for collection.

Wheelchairs issued by Preston Specialist Mobility Rehabilitation Centre (SMRC) need to be returned to them.  Please telephone 01772 716921 to arrange a collection.

If you are not sure about what to do with any piece of equipment (i.e., syringe pump), please ask your Community District Nurse or Healthcare Professional.

Medications need to be returned to the local pharmacy.

Grief:  When Someone Dies

Every person feels differently when a loved one dies.

There is no right or wrong way to feel after the death of a loved one.

Some will prefer to deal with their feelings on their own, while others seek support from friends, a person or a group of people who have had similar experiences of grief.  

Others may prefer to contact a person with professional training such as a Counsellor or a Psychologist.  

What is important is that there is support available and it is normal to need support in coming to terms with your loss.

Emotional feelings following bereavement

Guilt and regret:

  • Regret that you may not have said or done everything you wanted to say or do, especially if the death was sudden and unexpected.

Injustice:

  • Why did they have to die?
    Why did this have to happen to me?

Envy:

  • Others may have what you no longer have since losing your loved one.

Anger:

  • That they could not be cured, that others survived, angry with your loved one that they died and now you are suffering.

Loneliness:

  • You may feel no-one understands.

Depression:

  • A natural part of the mourning process.  The feeling that there is no point in going on:  losing interest in life.

Relief:

  • That your loved one is no longer suffering.

Regardless of your religious beliefs, you may also like to seek the support of a spiritual advisor. 

The Hospital Chaplain can put you in touch with a minister of your denomination or religion.  If you wish. 

You may contact the Chaplaincy Team on 01253 300000 at Blackpool Victoria Hospital.  There are also various organisations locally who can offer further support and counselling for you.

Talking to Children about Death

Adults often feel the need to protect children from death.  They may feel children will not understand or that they will be too upset, however, we can often underestimate a child's resources and ability to copy.

Children often find it harder if they are not told what is happening, and they may be more frightened by imagined events.  Children should be told the facts in a simple manner, using appropriate words, e.g., 'dead', 'death', or 'died', rather than 'lost' or 'asleep'.  Give them time to ask questions (which may be very direct), and offer plenty of reassurance.

It is helpful for adults to share feelings with children, such as feeling of sadness.  By doing this, they learn that it is natural to feel sad when someone dies.  Children may like to draw pictures as part of their way of saying goodbye to express their sadness and feelings.

After the Funeral

Settling the deceased person's estate can be confusing, time consuming and distressing.  If you have been named as Executor in the Will, responsibility for carrying out the person's wishes lies with you.  This will include payment of funeral expenses, debts and taxes, as well as arrangements for possessions and other assets.

It is wise to avoid making hasty decisions about the future.  The length of time will vary for each individual, but gradually you will realise that you are more able to cope with your bereavement.  Then will be the time for thinking about plans for the future.

Advice and Support:  Some Options for You

They are Gone

You can shed tears that they are gone,

Or you can smile because they lived,

You can close your eyes and pray that they will come back,

Or you can open your eyes and see all that they have left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see them,

Or you can be full of love that you shared,

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday.

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember them and only that they are gone,

Or you can cherish their memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,

Or you can do what they would want:  Smile, Open your Eyes,

Love and Go On.

(Anonymous)

For you in your loss - Information for Bereaved Relatives and Friends - Community Services